Look at the transformation that took place. What nearly caused a civil war became a monument to unity. What appeared to be rebellion was revealed as faithfulness. What seemed like division was actually designed to preserve connection. The altar that almost destroyed Israel’s unity became a witness to their shared faith.
Understanding creates monuments.
When Phinehas and the delegation heard the explanation, the text says “it was good in their eyes.” They didn’t grudgingly accept it. They didn’t remain suspicious. They were genuinely pleased. They recognized that what they had feared was actually something beautiful. They celebrated rather than condemned.
The eastern tribes even gave the altar a name: Witness. It stood as a permanent reminder of what investigation and understanding can accomplish. Every time someone saw that altar, they would remember: don’t assume the worst; seek understanding; choose unity over division.
This is what can happen in our relationships when we choose investigation over accusation. Our misunderstandings can become monuments, reminders of grace, testimonies to the peace that understanding creates and the love that assumes the best.
After the “shopping conversation” in the sermon illustration, the husband and wife developed a new vocabulary. She could say, “I need to regulate,” and he understood what that meant. He could ask, “Are you shopping or actually wanting to buy something?” They created monuments of understanding that helped them navigate similar situations in the future.
What monuments of understanding do you have in your marriage? What shared language have you developed? What inside jokes or special phrases remind you of times when investigation led to breakthrough?
Or are you still fighting the same battles, making the same assumptions, creating the same conflicts? Are you building walls instead of monuments?
Here’s the beautiful thing about monuments: they serve future generations. The eastern tribes built their altar not just for themselves but for their children and grandchildren. They wanted to ensure that future generations would know they belonged to the Lord and to the covenant community.
When you choose understanding over assumptions, you’re not just helping your current relationship. You’re modeling something powerful for your children, your friends, your church community. You’re showing them what it looks like to investigate before accusing, to assume love before assuming malice, to seek peace rather than rushing to war.
We live in a world that is quick to judge and slow to listen. Social media has trained us to form opinions based on headlines and respond with outrage before we have all the facts. Cancel culture operates on the assumption that we can fully understand someone’s motives from a single action or statement.
But the people of God should be different. We should be known for our willingness to investigate, our patience in seeking understanding, our humility in admitting we might be wrong. We should be monument builders, not wall builders.
The altar that nearly caused destruction became a testimony to God’s faithfulness and His people’s unity. Your next conversation could be the bridge that turns misunderstanding into deeper intimacy. Your choice to investigate could be the moment that transforms conflict into connection.