Notice that when Paul instructs Titus about different groups in the church—older men, older women, young women, young men—he never uses family designations like fathers, mothers, sons, or daughters. Why?
Because the church is designed to fill in the gaps. Not everyone has healthy family relationships. Many don’t have fathers who modeled godliness or mothers who taught wisdom. Some have been abandoned, abused, or orphaned. Others are single without children or elderly without family nearby.
But the church transcends biological family. The church creates new relationships where older believers disciple younger believers, where experienced Christians mentor new believers, where those with resources care for those in need. The church becomes family for those who lack it and enriches the families of those who have it.
This is radically countercultural. In almost every other sphere of life—professional, social, cultural—status is determined by what you bring to the table. Your education, your experience, your wealth, your connections all matter. But in the church, we die to all of that. We fight for humility instead of pride. We seek to serve rather than be served. We value people not for what they offer us but because they bear God’s image.
Paul tells Titus to be the model. Not to just give instructions from a distance, but to show them how it’s done. To be the older man who disciples younger men. To be the example of integrity, dignity, and sound speech. To fill in the gaps himself.