Here’s where everything changes. Instead of going immediately to war based on their assumptions, the Israelites sent a delegation led by Phinehas to investigate. And when they asked the eastern tribes about the altar, the answer was completely different from what they expected.


The eastern tribes weren’t rebelling. They weren’t setting up rival worship. They were doing the exact opposite. They were building a witness, a reminder, a monument to ensure that future generations would remember their connection to the God of Israel and to their brothers across the Jordan. They feared that someday, the physical boundary of the Jordan River might lead to a spiritual boundary, with their children being told, “You have no portion in the Lord.”


The altar wasn’t about division. It was about unity. It wasn’t about rebellion. It was about faithfulness. Everything the Israelites had assumed was backwards.


Notice the pattern here: observation, investigation, understanding, resolution. The Israelites observed the altar. Instead of acting on their first interpretation, they investigated. Through investigation, they gained understanding. And that understanding led to resolution and peace rather than war and destruction.


This is the Joshua 22 principle: investigate before you accuse. Seek understanding before you judge. Assume love before you assume malice.


Think about how this applies to marriage. Your spouse does something that hurts or confuses you. Your first instinct might be to confront them with accusations: “You always do this,” “You never care about my feelings,” “You’re just like your mother.” But what if, instead, you investigated first?


What would investigation look like? It might sound like this: “Help me understand something. I’ve noticed [behavior], and I’m trying to understand what that means for you.” Notice what you’re not saying. You’re not saying, “You’re wrong,” or “You’re sinful,” or “You need to change.” You’re simply presenting your observation and asking for an explanation.


This requires humility. It requires admitting that you might not have all the information. It requires being willing to discover that your interpretation is wrong. But it prevents the kind of destruction that assumptions create.


In the sermon illustration, imagine if the husband had approached his wife 10 years earlier and said, “Help me understand something. I’ve noticed you spend a lot of time looking at things online, and I’m trying to understand what that means for you.” Her answer would have changed everything: “I’m not shopping. I don’t want to buy all these things. Looking at pictures and colors calms my brain down when I’m overwhelmed. It’s like visual white noise.”


One conversation. One investigation. Ten years of resentment avoided.


The cost of wrong assumptions is enormous. But the cost of investigation is minimal. Just humility and a willingness to listen.