Step back and see the whole scene. A great crowd on the shore. A King who gives orders to cross over. One man who promises too much and another who offers too little; one too fast, the other too slow. Matthew never tells us what became of either of them. He leaves the story open on purpose, so that we will finish it. And then verse 23 shows us what real disciples do: “And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him.” They got in, and that boat was heading straight into a storm.
Why is Jesus so demanding? Because, as Craig Keener notes, in that culture only God himself ranked above a man’s duty to his father. When Jesus says, “Your father can wait; follow me,” he is claiming a place that belongs to God alone. No rabbi or prophet would have said that about himself. So what sort of man is this? He is the King who has the right to come first, before career, comfort, family, plans, and every “someday.” The claims of his kingdom are absolute (wherever means wherever) and immediate (follow me means now). And like his words to the rich young ruler, whom Jesus “looking at him, loved” (Mark 10:21), these hard words are spoken in love. Jesus puts the fine print in plain view.
But do not miss the title Jesus uses in verse 20. It is the first time in Matthew that he calls himself the Son of Man, the figure from Daniel 7 to whom “was given dominion and glory and a kingdom, that all peoples, nations, and languages should serve him” (Daniel 7:14). The Judge of all the earth, and the first thing he tells us under that title is that he has no pillow. “Though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor” (2 Corinthians 8:9). The phrase “lay his head” echoes at the cross, where John tells us Jesus “bowed his head” and gave up his spirit. The Son of Man who had nowhere to lay his head finally laid it down on a cross.
That is where he paid for the scribe’s big promises he could never keep, for the second man’s “Lord, but first,” and for every “someday” that has come out of your mouth and mine. We deserved to be left outside with no home and no rest. Jesus went homeless so we could be brought home, and he has gone to prepare a place for us in his Father’s house (John 14:2). The King who sets the terms is the same King who has met the terms. Everything he asks of you, he has already done for you. Your following was never going to be strong enough to save you; his faithfulness is. Following Jesus is not the price you pay for new life. It is the fruit of the new life he gives.