Daily Devotional
"And when they came to the region of the Jordan that is in the land of Canaan, the people of Reuben and the people of Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh built there an altar by the Jordan, an altar of imposing size. And the people of Israel heard it said, 'Behold, the people of Reuben and the people of Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh have built an altar at the frontier of the land of Canaan, in the region about the Jordan, on the side that belongs to the people of Israel.' And when the people of Israel heard of it, the whole assembly of the people of Israel gathered at Shiloh to make war against them."
Joshua 22:10-12
Have you ever been completely wrong about someone you love? Dead wrong. The kind of wrong where you were 100% certain you knew what was going on, only to discover later you had no clue what was actually happening?
The Israelites found themselves in exactly this position. After years of faithful warfare alongside their brothers, the tribes of Reuben, Gad, and the half-tribe of Manasseh were finally heading home across the Jordan. On their way, they did something. They built an altar, an altar of imposing size. When the rest of Israel heard about it, they immediately assumed the worst: rebellion, idolatry, covenant breaking.
Their observation was accurate. There was indeed an altar. But their interpretation was completely wrong.
We do this all the time, don’t we? We observe behavior and immediately think we know what it means. Your spouse seems distant, so they must not love you anymore. Your spouse is quiet, so they must be angry. Your spouse looks at their phone, so they must be hiding something. We observe behaviors through our own lenses, our own ways of thinking, our own past experiences, and we assume we know what their actions mean.
The Israelites were ready to go to war over a misunderstanding. How many of our relationships are suffering similar damage today because we assume we understand motives rather than creating space for explanation?
Here’s the sobering reality: we assume everyone thinks the way we think because we’ve only got one brain. But God has created each person uniquely, with different backgrounds, different neurologies, different ways of processing the world. What seems obvious to us might be completely foreign to someone else.
Today's Challenge
Can you think of a time when you made an assumption about someone's behavior that turned out to be wrong? What were the consequences? What behaviors in your spouse or close relationships do you find yourself interpreting negatively? Have you investigated whether your interpretation is accurate? How does recognizing your own limited perspective change the way you approach confusing behaviors in others?
Prayer
Father, forgive me for the times I have rushed to judgment without seeking understanding. You know the thoughts and intentions of every heart, but I do not. Give me humility to recognize my own limited perspective. Help me to investigate before I accuse, to ask before I assume, and to extend the same patient grace You show me daily. Teach me to see others through Your eyes of love rather than through the distorted lens of my own experiences and fears. In Jesus' name, Amen.